Friday, 22 December 2017

{{ **Merry Christmas 2017** }} Jokes and Pranks - Best Merry Christmas Jokes and Pranks

Best Merry Christmas Jokes and Pranks

Christmas playing cards are at the desk, stamps, and envelopes prepared and all that’s left to do is to feature a nice message to want your pals and own family Merry Christmas.

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Merry Christmas 2017 Jokes and Pranks
Merry Christmas 2017 Jokes and Pranks

Merry Christmas 2017 Jokes and Pranks

Sean: Knock, knock.
Fawn: Who’s there?
Sean: Murray.
Fawn: Murray who?
Sean: Murray Christmas, one and all!

Joke submitted by Sean H., Farmington, N.M.

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

Joke submitted by Jorgen R., Prunedale, Calif.

Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.

Joke submitted by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.

Will: What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Bill: What?
Will: Anytime!

Joke submitted by Keith G., Forestdale, Mass.

Killian: Knock, knock.
Gary: Who’s there?
Killian: Pizza.
Gary: Pizza, who?
Killian: Pizza on earth, good will toward men!

Joke submitted by Killian L., Greensburg, Pa.

Noah: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I haven’t a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

Joke submitted by Noah B., Port Deposit, Md.

Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: I’m stumped.
Casen: “Santa Jaws!”

Joke submitted by Casen S., Tyler, Tex.

Will: Where do snowmen keep their money?
Bill: Beats me.
Will: In a snow bank.

Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.

Sister: What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Brother: A list of everything I want!

Joke submitted by Calvin L., Orlando, Fla.

Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Jim: Huh?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.

Joke submitted by Tim S., Merriam, Kan.

Chris: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chrissy: What?
Chris: Chill out.

Joke submitted by Christopher H., Fair Oaks, Calif.

A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.

Joke submitted by Matthew H., Northridge, Calif.

Josh: What does Jack Frost like best about school?
John: What?
Josh: Snow and tell.

Joke submitted by Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.

Zoey: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
Johnny: I don’t know. What?
Zoey: A pineapple!

Joke submitted by Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.

A book never written: “How to Decorate a Tree” by Orna Ment.

Joke submitted by Justin L., Galena, Ohio

Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.

Joke submitted by Suzan L. W., Spring Hill, Fla.

Pedro: What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents and scratches up your furniture?
Ordep: Beats me. What?
Pedro: Santa Claws.

Joke submitted by Will M., Big Canoe, Ga.

Jacob: What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jacob: Snow cones!

Joke submitted by Ashwin B., Morris Plains, N.J.

Travis: Where do polar bears vote?
Anthony: Where?
Travis: The North Poll!

Joke submitted by Travis S., Alta Loma, Calif.

Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?

Joke submitted by Ronesha M., Allen, Tex.

Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.

Joke submitted by Joe R., Saint Charles, Mo.

Luke: What do elves do after school?
Jeffrey: I don’t know. What?
Luke: Their gnome work!

Joke submitted by Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

Joe: What nationality is Santa Claus?
Moe: What?
Joe: North Polish.

Amanda: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
Robert: What?
Amanda: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.

Joke submitted by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.

Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.

Joke submitted by Mark R., Barrington, R.I.

When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”

Joke submitted by Doug C., Gahanna, Ohio

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”

Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Josh: Knock, knock!
Samantha: Who’s there?
Josh: Dexter.
Samantha: Dexter, who?
Josh: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

Joke submitted by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio

Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
Trey: Frostbite.

Joke submitted by Trey D., Ringgold, Ga.

Pedro: What does Santa say at the start of a race?
Pee Wee: I don’t know.
Pedro: “Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Joke submitted by Pedro the Mailburro

Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!

Joke submitted by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.

A book never written: “What Did I Do Wrong THIS Year?” by Kole N. Stocking.

Joke submitted by Kole N., Amherst, N.H.

William: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
David: What?
William: Do you smell carrots?

Joke submitted by William W., Shapleigh, Me.

Pee Wee: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
Westy: I don’t know.
Pee Wee: “Your Blitzen days are over!”

Joke submitted by Nhan P., Camp Hill, Pa.

Colton: How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Tammi: How?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”

Joke submitted by Colton S., Kansas City, Kan.


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